In case you didn’t know, my parents have been away in Belgium (yawn) since monday, and I’ve been alone since then. Well almost. A certain someone may have been here everyday to look after me and do a lil bit of cooking. She thinks I’m lying, but that meal was genuinely lovely. Chicken breast (hehe breast) stuffed with feta cheese and peppers with cous-cous. DELISH!!!!
So yeah, been living wothout my parents since Monday. Sorry I didn’t invite people over, but I couldn’t be bothered to clean up after some über-party. “But,” I hear you cry, “whatever did you do with yourself?” Well, the old parents left early monday morning. I got up about 12 and went to the shop to buy some Canada Dry, as I learnt that it’s lush mixed with jäger. Viki came over at about 4 o’clock and we did some pasta for dinner. Tuesday was pretty uneventful. Went to my Grandma’s for dinner and got back here at about 9 and we were quickly down to the pub!!! Which was quality. Allowed us to have a nice long chat about everything and makes me love her that little bit more. Today, I had poached egg on toast for breakfast, then we went down to Tescos, so Viki could buy the ingriedients for the GORGEOUES dinner she cooked for me. When we got back, we sat down and watched Downfall (possibly my favourit film ever). Then the cooking began, and I was made a meal of wonderful taste. After a couple of hours hanging around not doing much, we went to the pub and had a couple of drinks, before getting back just in time for Viki to gather up her things before her mum came to pick her up. Then I made myself a pizza for breakfast tomoro!!!! Which will be greatly enjoyed.
On a slightly different note, I have concluded that I very much like the new My Chemical Romance single. Kudos to them.
POW!!! What a quality trip!!! El vino did flow, along with el jagermeister. But that’s not the whole story…
I awoke bleary eyed on Friday morning to the sound of my phone’s alarm telling me it was 2.45. Not a good time. Me and old Tommy G jumped into the car and pitched up at Turnfurlong at 3.15, before Brooker. Got on the coach, where matt came and sat down next to me. Not much really happened for the next couple of hours, the usual travel non-sense. The fun began once we got actually into Berlin itself. First thing to say: Berlin is BUZZING. After dumping our bags at the Youth Hostel, we wandered off to the Sony Centre. All British cities are lacking something like this. Just a pureky fit building full of gorgeous structures. After grabbing luncheon at an aussie bar, we chipped off down to the Brandenburg Gate, via the haunting Jewish Memorial. Swear down, this was the strangest/most moving place I’ve ever been. Hundreds of grey slabs of varying heights lined up over a massive area. Also, a great place to play hide and seek. We chipped on from there and ended up at the Brandenburg Gate, a really impressive structure. After a hench chip along Unter den Linden we cotched on a boat tour of the city, where I took some quality photos. The real fun came, though, when we went out that night. We missioned out to the Ku’damm,, which used to be the main square in East Germany. After some free time and a lush meal (i had the godly wiener schnitzel), we hit the motherlode. The Irish Bar.
The pictures show it all really. Numerous people got severely smashed, most notably Aidan (not shown), Flegg, Haz and Jake. I personally got pretty hammered, having about 5 Guinness’, 2 Jagers and a Flat Liner (sambuca with tabasco). The after taste of a Flat Liner is diffifult to describe. I think Jake put it best, saying “My mouth tastes like I just licked a girl with some serious problems.” That night was pretty wicked to be honest, as I chatted and bantered with Jake, Jaymin, Haz, Fleggy et al., people who previously wouldn’t have been top off my list to chill with. But trust me when I say those boys know how to party. Jake was absolutely tanked. I was chatting with Fran when we saw Jake and Flegg take 2 Flat Liners each down to a table and knock them both back. Jake’s first comment “POW!!!” I felt kind of bad, as I left Tom and Matt looking really bored, but they probably made the best choice, as I felt godawful the next morning.
The next day, like I said, I felt awful, but I didnt expect much less. After breakfast, we wandered on over to the Reichstag where we queued for ages to grab the lift up to the top to see the wicked dome on top. Well worth the wait. After that wonderful experience, we chipped on over to the East and Alexanderplatz, the drabbiest place that’s ever been drab. Here, I was accosted for a good half hour by some crazy Danish girl trying to get me to join some crazy mentalist left wing group. I honestly have no idea why I appear to be the main target of these people. I left when the singing started and wandered round on my own for a bit before meeting the rest of the group and going to the Checkpoint Charlie Museum, really interesting. Amazing the lengths people went to escape from East to West.
Saturday evening saw the Mexican restaurant/bar. The drinking was reduced, but the banter was of the highest quality and I was sat chatting with Matt, Joe, Fran, Jay, Haz, Jake, Flegg and Mike.
All in all, Berlin 2006 kicked arse. Pictures to come.
















I was flicking through the Sun (as you do), when I came across possibly the greatest story ever told. No, not some fairy tale retold by large breasted women wearing only earmuffs and very small underwear. No, Chris De Burgh thinks he’s Jesus. I quote, from the cutting.
“Miracles of ‘Christ’ de Burgh
Fading singer Chris De Burgh claimed yesterday he can perform miracles like Jesus.
The Lady in Red star told TV star Gloria Hunniford “I have found myself able to cure people with my hands.”
“I met someone in the West Indies who was not able to walk. I put my hands on him and he was able to get up.”
De Burgh, 55, added “I know the tabloids will get excited by this so I try to play it down.”
Gloria was dumbstruck on her BBC1 religious show Heaven and Earth.
But she told the Sun last night that she did not doubt De Burgh. She said “Why would he lie about such a thing?”
In 2004, De Burgh threatened to sue anyone who mentioned his healing hands after his daughter spoke of them.
Have you been healed by Chris De Burgh? Give the Sun news desk a call on 020 7782 4101. We’ll call you right back.”
Not much to say about that, to be honest.
And the world watched. And the sub editors did rub their hands at the prospect of being able to compose extremelt amusing headlines based around him looking a bit chinese. The best one i saw was the Sun’s “How Do You Solve a Problem Like Korea?”. Alas, I can’t find a link to it, but trust me, it’s a beaut. To be honest, I bet George in the big white house is loving all this. He’s been waiting to fight a war that he a) might win, b) would actually do some good, and c) won’t piss off every single muslim from here to Islamabad. I mean, I’m not the biggest fan of Bush (the man’s an arse), but if he wanted to blow up Iran or N. Korea, I wouldn’t stand in his way.
Talking of Iran, I am loving that situation. I have no idea what Iran thinks they can get out of making a nuke. “We can blow up Israel.” Great. Blowing up Israel is akin to charging at a man with gun armed only with fork. Not the best idea in the world. Mainly because the US will blow the fuck out of you without a moment’s notice. And trust me, no matter who you are, the US have more nukes than you. Yes, even you, Russia.
I thought i’d introduce some high culture to the internetz, which appears, to me, to be a void of culture. So here is, in its entirety, Edgar Allan Poe’s classic horror poem, “The Raven”
“Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
“‘Tis some visitor,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.”
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; – vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow – sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me – filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
“‘Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more.”
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you”- here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!” -
Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
‘Tis the wind and nothing more.”
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the Nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”
Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”
Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as “Nevermore.”
But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered, “other friends have flown before -
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before.”
Then the bird said, “Nevermore.”
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of ‘Never – nevermore’.”
But the Raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o’er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o’er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee – by these angels he hath sent thee
Respite – respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”
Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”
“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! – prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore -
Is there – is there balm in Gilead? – tell me – tell me, I implore!”
Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”
“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil – prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us – by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”
Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”
“Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend,” I shrieked, upstarting -
“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken!- quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”
Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”
And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted – nevermore!”
‘Nuff said really…