Blodge
Life Always Gives Me Something (Warning – Explicit Content)
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I was reading Private Eye just a minute ago, when i came across something that is makingme laugh even as i type this. In a small box entitled “Citizen Journalist of the Week” there is the following fantastic quote, from BBC Radio Bristol:
Sam Mason, Presenter: “And now we go to Sean in Bristol. Sean, can you sum up the weather where you are in one word?”
Sean: “CUNT!”
I really need to get a hobby or something, these things are just showing up how bored I am
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Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrassing it is.How many songs: 4195.
Sort by song title:
First Song: (I don’t know whats going) On – The Cure.
Last Song: You’ve Got Her in your Pocket – The White Stripes
Sort by time:
Shortest Song: Hello I Love You (10 Second Version) – The Cure
Longest Song: ATD 10 – Akira the Don
Sort by artist:
First Artist: 10CC
Last Artist: The Zutons
Sort by album:
First Album: (What’s The Story) Morning Glory – Oasis
Last Album: Z00 3 – Skazi Top Three Most Played Songs:
1. Atlantis to Interzone – Klaxons
2. Supermassive Black Hole – Muse
3. Samson – Regina Spektor
Search ….
“sex”, how many songs come up? 20
“death”, how many songs come up? 57
“love”, how many songs come up? 111
I got bored again
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1. Who is the last person you held hands with?
Kate when we were sitting in a&e and needed to support each other cos oli wasnt being a knob
2. If you were drafted into a war, would you survive?
I’d go down fighting listening to Knights of Cydonia
3. Do you sleep with the TV on?
Nope.
4. Have you ever drank milk straight out of the carton?
Yes.
5. Have you ever won a spelling bee?
Never even entered one. Though if i got in, i’d fancy my chances
6. What is your longest fight with one of your friends?
No idea
7. Are you a fast typer?
Yes
8. Are you afraid of the dark?
Not at all
10. Who can you always turn to?
Um. Jim, Caley, Joely, Oli and Becci
11. When’s the last time you chose a bath over a shower?
last night
12. Do you knock on wood?
yes
13. Are you drinking anything right now?
Nope
17. What do you want for Christmas
LOve again
18. Do you know the muffin man?
yes. he wants to stop being pestered about that song
19. Do you talk in your sleep?
No idea
21. Have you ever flown a kite?
Yeah 
22. when is the last time you went swimming and where?
Fucking no idea
23. Do you consider yourself successful?
Nope
24. How many people are on your contact list of your cell phone?
most of them
25. Have you ever asked for a horse?
I’m a man
26. Plans for tomorrow?
Sleep, revision (possibly)
27. What’s your middle name? and why?
Francis, he’s a saint
28. Missing someone right now?
Yep
29. When’s the last time you told someone you loved them?
To Sophie on Saturday night
34. What are you looking forward to?
Next Tuesday – the day of freedom
35. Have you ever crawled through a window?
Yep
36. Have you ever eaten dog food?
Nope. Given it to a teacher before
38. Can you handle the truth?
yeah
39. Do you like green eggs and ham?
Yes. I am Sam I am
40. What 3 things you always bring with you to places?
Me, and booze
41. Any cool scars?
No cool ones
42. Do you like or have a crush on anyone?
Yeah. not telling
45. How often do you talk on the phone?
Not that much
46. Do you believe in love?
Yeah. Totally.
47. Is there something you want that you can’t have?
Not entirely sure
48. Four things about the preferred sex that you first notice?
Personality. eyes, legs, shoes
49. What are you thinking of right now?
Why the fuck am i doing this?
52. Where is your phone?
Just to my right on the window sill
53. What was the last thing you ate?
Turkey
54. Orange or blue?
Orange
55. Last movie you watched?
South Park
56. What song are you currently listening to?
White Stripes – Bone Broke
57. What do you want?
Love
58. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
Sophie
59. What’s your favorite food?
Food
60. Who was the last person you hung out wit?
Oli
GAH
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Why is life a bitch? I hate exams. GAH GAH GAH. FUCK IT. GAH. Just want to curl up into a ball at the moment.
Apologies.
I’m Bored
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1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?
Bitten by a dog. Canine bastards
2. WHAT DOES YOUR CELL PHONE LOOK LIKE?
I have a Sony Ericsson K750i. So sexy
3. WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LIKE TO LISTEN TO?
Anything
4. DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
5 in the morning. I win
5. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Viki to love me, I guess. Or viki here to talk to, or go for a walk with or something. Just viki really
6. WHAT DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Her
7. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION?
My Guinness pint glass
8. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SMELL?
Viki
9. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?
Nope
10. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Why? It’s only dark
11. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOGNE / PERFUME TO WEAR?
CK Euphoria
12. WHAT KIND OF HAIR DO YOU LIKE ON THE OPPOSITE/SAME SEX?
Not fussed, it’s whats on the inside that counts
13. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF BEING PROPOSED TO AT?
Well considering my gender, I would hope that I am doing the proposing…
14. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Energy drinks, coffee is vile
15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?
I like most, but you can’t beat a good bit of pepperoni
16. IF YOU CAN EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
A good bit of rib-eye steak, rare, with some nice fat chips. Brilliant
17. WHO IS THE LAST PERSON YOU MADE MAD?
viki
18. DO YOU SPEAK A DIFFERENT LANGUAGE?
Deutsch, Francais, Nihon-go
19. WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT SOMEONE EVER GAVE YOU (OF THE OPPOSITE SEX)?
their heart.. i dont care about gifts or materials, the best gifts a) are free and b) you can’t see
20. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
I am the very situation described. So yes
21. WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL SOMEONE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU?
Do something original and meaningful. Like write a book with them as the main character. Or write them a poem. Or do a drawing.
22. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED:
22
23. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?
Brunettes.
24. WHAT IS THE ONE NUMBER YOU CALL OFTEN?
I don’t really use the phone that often.
25. WHAT ANNOYS YOU MOST?
That i dont know how to solve my currentlife crisis and i’m afraid it may eat me alive
26. HAS ANYONE EVER SPIT ON U?
I don’t hang around with uncouth people
27. YOUR WEAKNESSES?
Viki, Lindor and Football Manager
28. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB?
LOL
29. EVER DONE A PRANK CALL?
Yeah
30. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE YOU FILLED OUT THIS SURVEY?
What i am doing as i fill out this survey – listening to Blur
31. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Nose job, pure and simple. I HATE my nose
32. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY?
Cos i am really fucking bored.
33. WHAT DO YOU GET COMPLIMENTED ABOUT MOST?
My personality. Says a lot about my looks tbh :/
34. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL?
Cry, mostly. Then set up a home brewery to brew up some ’shine
35. WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Happiness
36. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT?
One or two, if any
37. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Nope. Saints i think. Samuel and Francis are both Saints.
38. DO YOU WISH ON STARS?
Why would i do that?
39. WHICH FINGER[S] IS YOUR FAVORITE?
that’s a retarded question
40. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY?
About a month and a half ago.
41. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
Yes. Shame no-one else can read it.
42. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham
43. ANY BAD HABITS?
Picking/biting my nails
44. WHAT IS YOUR MOST EMBARRASSING CD YOU OWN?
Usher – Confessions
45. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably
46. DO LOOKS MATTER?
Not at all. People are beautiful on the inside. Watch “Shallow Hal” and you’ll see what I mean.
47. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER?
I dont. I let it build up inside of me.
48. WHERE IS YOUR SECOND HOME?
My dad’s house
49. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY?
Why not? I will only mistrust someone if they give me a reason to
50. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD?
Tonka trucks and Tomy trains
51. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Yes
52. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT?
Yep.
53. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
You can’t “look” for anything. If you’re looking for something, then that’s wrong. It should just work. And if it doesnt, well then its not gonna happen.
54. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES?
Dodge, Dodgy, Dodgy Dodgin, Sammy Dodger, Jammy Dodger, Dodgeman, Dodgemeister, Legs
55. DO YOU UN-TIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Depends which pair I’m wearing </tart>
56. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR?
Haagen Dazs Banoffee Pie
57. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS?
Red
58. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE?
fucking no idea
59. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW?
Love
60. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS?
Why not?
61. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Blur - No Distance Left To Run
62. LAST THING YOU ATE?
Dinner, which was pork chops, new potatoes, cabbage and peas
63. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Grandma called earlier
64. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE IN THE PREFERRED SEX?
Whether they are smiling or not
65. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Hammersmith, London
66. SCARIEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU?
Nothing really
67. FAVORITE DRINK?
Guinness
68. FAVORITE JOKE?
I dont have one, one line jokes are hardly ever amusing, comedy should be more intelligent than that
69. FAVORITE SPORT?
Rugby is pretty good. Not that i play
70. YOUR HAIR COLOR?
Brown
71. YOUR EYE COLOR?
Blue
72. DO YOU WEAR GLASSES?
nope, but glasses are sexy
73. SIBLINGS?
1 younger half sister
74. FAVORITE MONTH?
November
75. YOU LIKE SUSHI?
What is the appeal of raw fish?
76. LAST THING YOU WATCHED?
On tele – the news
on youtube – videos of “Terry Tate – Office Linebacker”
I also just saw my sisters school play
77. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR
There a number of days that are good. I would say any which i spend with viki
78. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT?
Yes completely. I have no idea how i end up in relationships (that makes it sound like i’ve had loads, when in reality i’ve about 3, and only one that’s actually gone somewhere)
79.SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter. I cannot stand heat
80. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS?
relationships
81. WHO DO YOU SECRETLY LOVE?
If i told, it would hardly be a secret
82. FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley
83. LAKE OR OCEAN?
Ocean
84. BIGGEST TURNOFF?
too much make-up
85. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND:
Friday night
86. LAST KISS:
Last week
87. LAST TEXT YOU RECIEVED:
Tom G explaining his spaced addiction
88. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH:
Plenty, but i am in love and that makes any crush seem obsolete
89. DO YOU WISH YOU CAN SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW:
I want to see Viki to say to her that i am sorry for being me
90. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME:
Victoria
91. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENTED/ ARE ATTENDING:
AGS
92. WHERE ARE YOU NOW:
My room
93. ARE YOU SMILING:
If you were me, you wouldnt be smiling
94. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING:
A black guinness t-shirt, black levis
95. ARE YOU IN LOVE:
I dont know. Does being in love have to be mutual. If no, then yes i am, if yes, then i guess i’m not
96. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE
Downfall
97. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SONG:
Always “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley
98. WHEN WAS YOUR LAST RELATIONSHIP:
I’m in one now, i think
99. EVER BEEN DRUNK:
yes, many times. its brilliant
100. PLAN ON GETTING DRUNK SOON:
nope i was pissed last nite, to be pissed two nites in a row is just poor form
A Moment of Clarity
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It is 11.30 on the night of Monday the 7th of May and I, Sam Dodgin, have come to a realisation.
I am a man well endowed with friends. However, amongst those friends there a few who stick out as being particularly special. These are people who I love unconditionally. Who I could never bear a grudge against, no matter what their crime. I love these people. I would forgive them for anything, just like I hope they would do the same.
Viki – Is my first love and possibly the most wonderfully brave person I have ever met. I love her with everything.
Jim – Is my best mate and a wonderful, wonderful one at that. I undervalue just what he means to me. I never resent spending time with him. He could sleep with my wife and I’d forgive him.
Caley – Is Jim’s girlfriend and someone who I have recently found myself growing very fond of. She is such a wonderful soul. Like I have repeated so many times, she is one of my best friends, and I will always be there for her.
Oli – Is the man. He has been my friend since I was 1. We don’t see each other that much, but it just means I appreciate and enjoy the times we do even more.
Joely – Is my support. The one person I can guarantee will give me sound advice and the one person who will always find time to give me said advice. I love her as well.
These are the people who make my life worth living. I thank them with all my heart.
Dodge xxx
Free Alan Johnston
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Support freedom of the press. Join the petition to free the BBC’s Gaza reporter, Alan Johnston.
Frankie Waring – Cast Iron Joker
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I sometimes wonder why I’m failing at japanese. Then I realise the person to blame it not my self, but Frankie. Here’s the “work” we did today:
“Akikaze wa
Sasayaki dare
mayotta ai
the autumn breeze is but a whisper of a love lost its way
Akikaze wa
Mayotta ai no
Sasayaki ka
I wonder if the autumn breeze is a whisper of a love lost its way?
Rahrahrah\
Rahrarhrahrahrahr
Rarharharharh
My slitted wrists a forgotten memory of wasted youth ß LOLOLOLOL
THEY CALL IT A WASTELAND!
THEY CALL IT A WASTELAND, BABY!!!!!
True dat
“WE MIGHT UNDERSTAND
Death would be a beautiful long voyage
And an endless holiday for flesh structures and bones”
- Excerpt ‘The Death of Guillaume Appollonaire’ by Tristan Tzara
SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
Yes bled
I would like to be in her [inken]
Like, Totally
I liiiiiiiiiiiiiiike is nice
I VERY EXCITE”
There were images. But WordPress hates them. So you can’t see them.
Stolen of someone’s Facebook (because I am very bored)
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How to do it:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool… (It will compromise the divination )
Opening Credits:
Sigur Ros – Med Blatnasir (not how that’s spelt, but i have no idea)
Waking Up:
Gorillaz – 5/4 (Five Four)
First Day At School:
Rufus Wainwright – Go or Go Ahead
Falling In Love:
Editors – Fall
Fight Song:
Placebo – Holocaust (this fight scene would therefore be in slow mo i guess)
Breaking Up:
The Cure - Lost
Prom:
The Libertines – Horrorshow
Life:
Johnny Cash – Hurt
Making babies:
The Clash – Stay Free
Mental Breakdown:
Test Icicles – Boa vs Python
Driving
The La’s - Looking Glass
Flashback:
Kanye West – We Can Make It Better
Getting back together:
Dan Sartain – I Could Have Had You
Wedding:
Beck – High 5 (Rock the Catskills)
Birth of Child:
Smashing Pumpkins – Today
Final Battle:
Basement Jaxx – Just 1 Kiss
Death Scene:
Ska-P Circo Iberico
Funeral Song:
The Beatles – The End (Wouldn’t mind that at my funeral tbh)
End Credits:
Muse – Screenager
